Blackberry Patchwork Top Pie With Almond Crust

Being a teacher rules because I get to indoctrinate today's youth and I get all holidays off. Today was Veterans Day. Thank you, Vets! (Side story: I was teaching the youths about some Vietnam War stuff when I asked, "What does this headline tell you about the time period?" The headline was "Vietnam Vets Protest War." One student raised his hand and said, "That the people who took care of animals in Vietnam didn't like the war." Kids say the darnedest things!) Since I had the day off, I decided to bake a pie.

I realized why I should not bake by memory: I have a bad memory! So the last time I made a pie, my crust turned out dry because I got it in my head that one stick of butter equals one cup. And I never bothered to look at the measurements on the stick of butter. Oh, kitchen follies. Needless to say, today's crust turned out much better. I also added a half cup of finely ground almonds. I still work with a lead hand, so my crust always falls apart. Instead of trying to roll the crust out perfectly, I just let the cracks be and plopped them right on top of the pie. I'm like a jazz musician, I totally improvise. Yeah, man.

Girls' Night--WOOOO!!!!

me: andrew's out of town this weekend. wanna have a shut-in girls' night?

Kim: Yes please! Which night?

either night. wanna do saturday?

Kim: Sounds good. let’s bake and shit.

Vietnamese Beef Stew

This is one of my favorite dishes that my moms used to make. The spices smell cray cray. It's a great hearty stew, serves lots of people (my mom has 7 kids), and I've never had anyone tell me they dislike it. I think this Vietnamese Beef Stew was influenced by the French. It's very much like a beef bourgignon.

Ingredients:






(above, clockwise from top: clove, star anise, bay leaves, chili powder, cayenne powder, achiote oil, garlic, lemongrass, cinnamon stick)

1. Heat oil. Throw in the anise and cloves. Season beef generously with salt and pepper. Brown the beef. Brown = FLAVOR.

2. Remove beef and set aside.

3. Sautee 1/2 chopped onion in the pot the beef was cooking in. Scrape the bottom of the pot with wooden spoon to remove the brown bits. Remember brown = flavor. Add the lemongrass, cinammonstick, bay leaves.

4. Return the beef to the pot with the juices. Add the chili powder, cayenne powder, garlic, and 2 tablespoons tomato paste. Give it a stir.

5. Add can of diced tomatoes and one bottle of beer. I like Newcastle, but have used Miller High Life in the past. You know, because I'm real classy.

6. Bring to boil. Add carrots, turnips, potatoes. Turn down to low heat and simmer until meat is falling apart and vegetables are tender.

I've realized that my food blog sucks because everything is "to taste."

7. Garnish with cilantro and serve with a lime wedge. Sounds totally weird, but it for some reason it works. I think the tartness cuts through the salt. Also, my mom used to serve it with lime.This is really good over egg noodles or with a baguette on the side.

8. Et voila!

Pear Ginger Pie? Tart? Pouch?

I made this a while ago, but am just now getting around to posting it. This was a part of my pie-making phase. It's just 4 bosc pears, 3/4 cup of white sugar, a little bit of corn starch, and lots of ginger. I keep peeled ginger in my freezer and when I need it, I use a grater then throw it back in the freezer. Mix it all together and then dump it into your pie crust. I made the crust for this, and while I am getting better, I still haven't really mastered it.

Pie Crust Ingredients:

All-purpose flour, 2 cups
unsalted butter, 1/2 cup frozen
vegetable shortening, 1/2 cup frozen
ice water, 2 tablespoons
pinch of salt (omit if using salted butter)

1. Mix flour and salt if using.
2. Cut in the butter and shortening. It should look mealy.
3. Add ice water a little bit at a time and gently form dough.
4. Separate and shape into two "discs."
5. Wrap with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least one hour before rolling out.

Instead of using a pie dish,which would only highlight my deficiency as a pastry chef, I made two little foil "bowls," placed the crust inside, then the filling. I brushed with egg, sprinkled some sugar on top and popped it in the oven at 425°F for about 30 minutes.

I also made fresh whipped cream, which is just heavy cream, some confectioner's sugar and little bit of vanilla.

Pies are totally easy to make. In fact, I'm gonna go make another one right now. Happy Columbus Day, you politically incorrect assholes. (I have the day off from school, but what would you have me do? Protest by doing work?)

Happy Birthday, Baby Tuxedo Pants!

Me: What's your favorite cake?
Andrew: Chocolate roll cake.



When he first told me this, I thought it was a weird choice because it's both so specific and seemingly random, but as it turned out his mother used to make this cake for him and his brother on their birthdays. I had it last year when we celebrated his birthday on Block Island with his family. I immediately realized why it's his favorite--it's delicious. Light, airy, just a touch of sweetness.

Since Andrew was turning 30, I thought I'd honor him and his mother by baking one myself. I found a recipe online for a flourless version. I left out the orange zest and the Grand Marnier, using vanilla extract instead. Despite this ugly picture, it actually looked pretty good. And it tasted really good!

I'll admit it makes a strange looking birthday cake, but sentiment trumped all. Hope you had a good birthday, you big jerk.

Sunday Roast

I actually made this on Wednesday last week. I did an oven roast beef with a horseradish crust and horseradish mashed potatoes on the side. The horseradish flavor in both the mash and the roast was really subtle. The leftovers made excellent sandwiches. I also stuffed whole cloves of garlic inside the roast by poking a butter knife into the side of the roast in multiple places then using a finger to push the garlic cloves inside. It's pretty gnarly looking to see your entire finger inside a piece of meat and it feels weird, but the end result leaves you with delicious flavor and pretty slices of garlic when you cut up the roast.

Horseradish Crusted Roast Beef

Pre-heat oven to 400°F.

1. Mix about 1/3 cup horseradish and 2 tbs minced garlic.
2. Generously salt and pepper the roast.
3. Spread horseradish paste all over roast. Let sit for half hour at room temperature to let flavors infuse.
4. Heat olive oil and butter over medium-high heat. Be careful not to let the butter burn. When oil and butter begin to smoke a little, place roast fat side down. Brown the roast on all sides, being careful not to lose too much of the horseradish crust.

Remove roast to roasting pan and place in oven. Cook 15 minutes for each pound for medium rare or until the internal temperature reaches 130°-135°F. Other than rare, I don't know why anyone would eat beef any other way, but you can this chart to help you out. You'll need a meat thermometer though.

When oven roast reaches desired done-ness, remove to carving board and let rest for at least 15 minutes. Otherwise, all the juices will run and your roast will be dry and gross. Yuck.

Horseradish Mashed Potatoes

Prepare mashed potatoes as you normally would and throw in some horseradish.

Here's how I did it.

1. Wash, peel, and quarter potatoes (1 1/2 potatoes per person allows for generous portions and seconds for piggies).
2. Place in pot and cover the potatoes with water.
3. Boil until the potatoes are fork tender.
4. Drain in a colander.
5. Mash potatoes with a masher. If you have a rice mill, use that for really creamy potatoes.
6. Add half and half (or milk if you want to be boring) and butter to desired consistency and taste.
7. Add prepared salt, pepper, and horseradish to taste.
8. Eat up, piggies!

Pied Piper

Pies rule because they are easy to make and you can fill em up with anything you like. Tuesday night I made a chicken pot pie. Find the original recipe I used here. I left out the celery seed because when the hell do I ever use celery seed? I also swapped out the chicken broth for two chicken bouillon cubes dissolved in warm water and added a potato because who the hell makes a pot pie without potatoes? It's too warm out for chicken pot pie, you say? Who the hell turns down chicken pot pie at any time of the year? Cray-cray! I think next time I'll try some Indian spices to make it like a samosa pot pie.

Then yesterday I made a lovely blueberry pie for my main booberry (barf!). I'm not so good at making pie crusts; I kind of work slowly and have a lead hand. It still tasted delicious.